Precisely six months form this very day, this particualar moment even... I will be married. My painstakingly decorated Church will be cleaned and darkened with no memory of my special day save those moments captured in photographs. The party at the reception will be dying down, the pivitol yet overly cliche traditions will have been properly adhered to as I prepare to leave with Mike to our room upstairs. The flower petal will be browned, the beautiful delicacies devoured, the punch fountian drained and the ice sculpture detailing melted. Our exit form the soiree that evening will bring forth bittersweet emotions from our parents as it settles in as reality that we are married. For Real. I guess being engaged for so long makes the whole process seem so distant and fantastical. Perhaps it will never happen, like we are playing a very fun game where I always get to be the princess just like when i was little. For some reason, tonight I began to think about how all these carefully laid plans that are giving me nervous dreams and night sweats over whether or not the florist will make it to decorate on time are going to come to fruition in six months. It's not like I haven't thought about it before or that I am so focused on my wedding that I am failing to see my marriage. Being married is what I truly look forward to, but how can I express this feeling about the process of the wedding ending. It feels as though not havinga wedding to plan anymore will be a greater change in mylife than actually being married. With the end of this semseter in sight and the knowledge that I have one more semster to live life as I have been, I suppose I am realizing that time is slipping quickly away. Maybe what is actually sinking in is the realization of the fact that my enitre life will change in every possible aspect after the culmination of all this planning ends with a party. I do not mean to sound terrified or apprehensive. I merely am understanding the huge-ness of it all. Time is relative to what you are waiting for...
Six months until I can begin my life with the man I love more than life? That seems an eternity. Six months until my life is no longer pink and responsibility free? Fleeting moments.
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Your blog can still be pink. And whenever we have a daughter all her things can be pink as well.
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