Existential Funk?

I will expalin that I am living in my very first apartment this summer in the city and being a "big girl". I used to yearn to be a big girl, back when I was three and it made the difference between me sleeping in a crib or big bed in the hospital... but times change.

I thought I wanted to be an adult this summer, hmm... maybe its more difficult that I suspected. Do not get me wrong, I am technically just fine but i am infinitely lonely.

A full time job and a roomate who works late nights makes for no social life for me. Therefore, I cling to my computer as my sole venue for human contact... this disturbes me.

This is my problem, I am very lonely.. something I have never truly experienced before, I have always had at least my family. Hence, I have entered into a time where I feel a bit down because I am not someone who enjoys being alone, except to have occasional literary vacations.

I have had this time to examine myself and my thoughts and spend lots of quality time in parayer because God is always there... but I miss tangible human interaction, especially with people I care about.

Of course, it could be much much worse and I am truly thankful for all of my blessings... but I cannot seem to help feeling very alone right now.

So...I suppose the point is that I was accused of being in an existential funk, a period of common human existance. Except... upon thinking about it, I do not think that Kierkegaard or Sartre and I are friends. Maybe Aquinas and Pascal? not sure... did they think along these lines? I cannot recall right now. I think they all liked being alone.

Oh well, I think this may be my deepest, most depressing blog yet, I usually enjoy keeping it superficially upbeat and fun...

"You can't get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me." C.S. Lewis

"When thinking about companions gone, we feel ourselves doubly alone." Walter Scott